i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
