Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
