Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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