I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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