I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize