I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
