dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
