why didn't you poke me back
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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