three words: i give head
three words: not that well
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
