A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
you're hired as official boob wrangler
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize