I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
