i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
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