Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
