Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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