I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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