so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
