I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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