remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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