coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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