A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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