Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
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