we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
