I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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