I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You have to summon your inner elephant
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
