So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
