Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
