halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Randomize
