Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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