I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I understand Curling. That high.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Randomize
