1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
