Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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