And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Randomize
