Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I want to fling myself into the sun
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
