just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
