God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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