she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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