i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Randomize
