This girl is more easily done than said...
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
