He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
