You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Randomize
