Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
