I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize