I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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