the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
