I think my vagina is haunted
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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