take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Who died my cat blue again?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Randomize
