I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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