I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
