you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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