just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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