Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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