did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
