I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Randomize
