Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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