Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
She's the barista slut.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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