im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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