well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
