porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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