I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize