i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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