if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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