I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
