I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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