i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Randomize