u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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